The Challenges and Rewards of Coaching in a Sponsored Environment

Building a Coaching Culture - #105: The Challenges and Rewards of Coaching in a Sponsored Environment === J.R. Flatter [00:00:49]: I wanted to spend some time talking about sponsored environment or as Brian Elwood would call them corporate environment. It's one of the things that he and I are going back and forth on. I have chosen purposefully to coach and educate in a b to b environment. When I mentor and coach entrepreneurs, so I know a lot of our listeners and viewers are entrepreneur or have entrepreneurial spirits, when you start a business, at best, it's a 3rd, a 3rd, and a 3rd, or any kind of practice. So let's take it out of a business environment and just call it a coaching practice. Because you might be an an internal coach within an existing organization, within your existing job. You're gonna spend a third, a third, and a third, a 3rd of your time administering, a 3rd of your time pursuing, and a third of your time actually delivering your product. That's our anecdotal rough estimate, but I think it it's good enough to have a conversation around. J.R. Flatter [00:01:57]: And whether you're starting a coaching business, thinking about starting a coaching business, you have to ask yourself, do I wanna be a coach, or do I wanna be a CEO? And I decided a long time ago, I wanted to build a global team of coaches to coach irrespective of time zone, irrespective of time zone, geographies, cultures, ethnicities, genders, preferences. And so I I necessarily think b to b, business to business. And when you work in that kind of environment, you're almost always in a sponsored environment where someone other than the leader you're coaching is paying for the coaching. And so the likelihood that I'm going to have what we're currently calling ball and told show up is a lot higher than if I were selecting myself who came to my coaching practice. And I'm gonna get a bit philosophical in this discussion, so I apologize early for that. But when someone shows up, and this is a metaphor, but in my coaching room, I always use the room as a metaphor for coaching. There's no distractions, safe, and quiet, well lit. I have an obligation to coach them. J.R. Flatter [00:03:21]: I've had pretty frank conversations with the sponsors before they show up. Here are the core values, ethics, and competencies of coaching, and I will not violate those. So if you're gonna send me people to be coached on behalf of your organization, here are the parameters. And I have that same conversation with the leaders before they and all of our coaches and all of our coach educators have that same conversation with their cohorts. Here are the parameters of this journey you're about to start. And it's a pretty high bar. For me, it's never been reached that I will say I will not or cannot coach you. We have several case studies in our catalog of case studies, all real world, of voluntoals that have shown up in in my world and other coaches in our team that were voluntoils. J.R. Flatter [00:04:18]: I mean, hardcore voluntoils. I remember the first sentence from one was, I don't believe in this. I don't really wanna be here. I mean, you can't get any more volatile than that. But part of the reason I think is so necessary to talk about this is how often that person shows up. And if I'm a young, hungry hungry entrepreneur or if I'm the only ambassador of coaching in my organization, I better have a pretty high bar of when I will not coach you because your sponsor's gonna have something to say about that. The core values and ethics of coaching are gonna have to something to say about that. And I have a saying in my own principles. J.R. Flatter [00:05:05]: If you're able, you're obligated. And it permeates several several areas of my life, not just my coaching life, my business life, but my personal life as well. So if I'm able to coach this person, I feel an obligation to coach them. When I first started my journey, I was taught not to and to say no to people who didn't show up enthusiastic. And I always doubted that from the first moment I heard it because of your archetypal hero. Right? Every hero shows up with hesitation. Lucas Flatter [00:05:40]: Yeah. And I guess from, like, a messaging standpoint, I went to this, comic show, like, a month ago. And I noticed that, like, some people would just be like, oh, you know, I like this. I wanna, you know, I wanna ask questions about it or about the, you know, comics or art. And but that was like maybe 5% or 3%. Most people were just, you know, either they had a passing interest or they're just completely, you know, just looking from table to table. So from from the messaging standpoint, it's like, I like the 3%. I'm trying to talk to the rest of the people that aren't so excited. Lucas Flatter [00:06:24]: So it's like, what do most people respond to? You know, what do or what does everybody respond to instead of just those particularly interested people? And it seems like your method, if it is able to reach those people, is more universal messages that, you know, just people attach to and are able to follow through. J.R. Flatter [00:06:48]: Yeah. It's a great observation. Part of the reason I'm so passionate and one of the questions Brian would ask me is, what do you wanna go to the top of the mountain and scream at the top of your lungs? Because that has to be the vibe. That has to be the message. Your passion has to come through. He and I had an hour long conversation yesterday. We went back and forth on this a little bit like a good coach. He's actually a coach. J.R. Flatter [00:07:14]: I call him consultant, but he's coaching me through this process. It is, and I've said this once already, education. You said the word skeptics. Not sure that'll survive it because it's a negative word as I rethink it. But something less than enthusiastic. What's a single word to say that in a positive way? And it's an obligation. So maybe if I figure out how to wrap that into a subtitle or even a title. The reason I'm so passionate, and I've seen it so many times, I coached a person for a year who was a hardcore volatile. J.R. Flatter [00:07:53]: Be careful not to give away any confidentialities. And I chipped and chipped and chipped at that boulder and actually used that metaphor in a coaching session with him. And I said, at some point in our relationship, I've been chipping away at you for months, and it doesn't seem like we're getting anywhere. And he said, oh, no. This is very valuable to me, and I really look forward to these sessions. And I've had a lot of discovery. And for me, we say all the time in our education programs. We learn as much from each other as we do from the facilitator. J.R. Flatter [00:08:34]: That was a huge learning moment for me as coach and as a coach educator. And then I saw it again and again and again. I mean, I was shocked yesterday when we were graduating. So we always do testimonials around the room. Or if it's a a larger cohort, we have them self select representatives to speak on their behalf. So we always use the words emotions, surprises, and insights. What are you feeling? What's surprising you, and what are you learning? I'm always surprised at what we hear. You'll love this. J.R. Flatter [00:09:09]: 1, speaker a few courts ago talked about the metaphor of Star Wars and coaching. And you saw all these references in Star Wars. It was pretty good. It was actually better than good. It was great. So one of the things I've learned, and most of our education is virtual, we do several cohorts a year in person. Most of them are virtual. I've stopped trying to guess who the volun told is, who the skeptic is, because I'm always shocked. J.R. Flatter [00:09:43]: At the end when I hear the testimonials. Yeah. I was appalled. You would have been the last person I would have picked. There was someone in this cohort that absolutely was a skeptic, was already a coach for their own definition, and came out of curiosity. And I think in some ways to convince themself they really didn't need to be there, but they were gonna go anyway. Kinda like me, the first day of leadership. And at the end, I would say, at the end of the second day, he was already expressing, I gave you a gender again. J.R. Flatter [00:10:21]: I'm gonna keep doing that. He was already expressing, like, this is magnificent. I can't believe the questions and the methods. So I've stopped trying to guess, and I don't know if I teach to the Voluntold or not. I don't think I do. I think I teach to the early adopter, and the voluntold's just ketchup. Alright? Maybe maybe it's a balance of both, and maybe I need to think about that and write about that more. Lucas Flatter [00:10:49]: Yeah. Maybe it's like like if you have strong beliefs in the first place, like, you have this inertia, you know, and it's like a martial arts, Tai Chi kind of thing, where you can kind of take advantage of that inertia. Because maybe somebody that hasn't thought about their values and principles and things, they're more open to it, you know, but they're not necessarily as passionate about it as somebody that thinks about it all the time. And there could be something to that. J.R. Flatter [00:11:22]: So last thing I'd like to cover, and then we'll move on, is the 21st century labor market, which you and I are deeply embedded. I think you're involved in hiring nowadays. Because a lot of the volumptolds that entrepreneurs are going to have to get over the threshold of there is something here, and it's worthwhile investing in. It's gonna be transformational and life changing. Leaders of organizations and leaders within organizations that need to convince other leaders of the efficacy of coaching and coach education. We're competing in the 21st century global labor market. And, you know, you go back to this idea that 15 to 17 year olds are biologically hardwired to look at me and say, yeah, boomer. Right? Or even you now, but as you're couple years into your thirties. J.R. Flatter [00:12:20]: Because I see your portrait every day in my living room, your high school graduation portrait. And to me, you largely look exactly the same. But to you, when you look at that picture, you must go, oh my god. Because I saw myself originally as a 22 year old. If you would have asked me at 22 years old, I was a grown man. A baby. I had a wife. I had a career. J.R. Flatter [00:12:42]: And I look at that picture now. I go, oh my god. So I can imagine what you do when you look at 18 year old you. But you can commit all you want about the 21st century labor market and pool of available people and etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. I mean, this is a millennial challenge. Ever since human beings have been on the earth, they've been convincing about the the slothfulness of the youth of today in different ways. But it's just natural and normal as oxygen and and water are to our survival. And when you're having those conversations with yourself, it's probably you. J.R. Flatter [00:13:26]: When I look at intergenerations, things I immediately consider is who's complaining and who raised them. So So it's biological that the younger person is complaining about the generations that came before them. And it's very natural that the older generations are convincing about the younger generations. It's just it's a matter of age and experience as much as it is It's a new generation with new thinking. But the reality is we're different than they are. We have different expectations. Technologies are so different and will be. I mentioned Moore's Law all the time. J.R. Flatter [00:14:08]: Moore's Law was used to describe how quickly it would take technology to double. I don't know if you can measure it anymore. It's such a short lifespan. We used to talk about the half life of something. The half life was, how long will this survive? What's half of that? Because that's where the greatest value comes from is that half life. So that half life of a human being used to be 17 years. Right now, it's 50 years. We're getting pretty close to it. J.R. Flatter [00:14:37]: The half life of technology I was doing we're doing a rebranding, and we put a contest out there, which is how you do that. I didn't know that 2 days ago, but you put it out to designers, and we got a 140 something designs back in 4 days from across the globe. And while we were down selecting this morning, we spent an hour down selecting. New designs kept popping in because they were watching us down select. The world was literally watching us down select and saying, oh, they like this. So they started sending updates. I don't know. You tell me how long has that capability been there? And how long will I need an outside person to do my logo design? Lucas Flatter [00:15:20]: Before technology kinda takes over? J.R. Flatter [00:15:23]: Yeah. I mean, I'm gonna so first of all, I clearly think that if we ever learn how to read minds, we'll never have another friend. You'll never have another marriage because our mind goes and says things, and this is about unconscious bias. We teach segments on unconscious bias. When it when it's conscious and you're biased, that's when you're responsible for it. But when it just pops into your mind, there's no malice there. It's just your human brain doing what a human brain does. So, you know, what is the style of leadership for the 21st century to attract and to retain the world's best talent? You and I believe I won't put words in your mouth, but it's a coaching style of leadership and a coaching culture. J.R. Flatter [00:16:12]: And how do you change a culture? You can try doing a grassroots culture change. You're not going to get there without the support of the leadership, because culture at its simplest form is the story you and others tell about the organization. Is it a good place to work? They're gonna care about me. We're gonna have some work family self balance. Am I going to have purpose? I'm trying my best to describe what I know of you and other generations younger than me. And am I giving that workforce when I'm demonstrating my story so I can communicate it all I want? I'm gonna care about you, you know, give you purpose in your life, but then the world is simultaneously telling the story. So a long way of saying, to change cultures to a 21st century culture, to accept the rapidness, you have to have a a coaching culture. And that coaching culture has to be told from the top down and the bottom up and sideways, laterally, diagonally. J.R. Flatter [00:17:20]: Every speech you give, every class you teach, every hand you shake, every back you slap. You have to be communicating. This is who we are. This is what we're about. This is the purpose for why we're here. And that's a coaching style leadership within a coaching culture. And when the CEO decides I need a new culture, they're going to say to themselves and others, this group of people need to be coached, and this group of people need to become internal coaches, full time, part time. And just by thinking and saying and directing that, you're creating rooms full of volunteers that haven't learned, seen or given coaching yet. J.R. Flatter [00:18:14]: So in our 1st day, in our 1st week, in the longer courses, we learn, see, and give coaching. Final parting thoughts as we log off? Lucas Flatter [00:18:27]: Just one thing that there's this pretty popular meme format where it's this guy from the Simpsons, and he goes, am I out of touch? And then he says, no. It's the children who are wrong. Because it's such a popular idea. J.R. Flatter [00:18:44]: Yeah. So millennials are the CEOs now. You and your peers mostly are running the world right now or coming into their apex of their leadership. The thoughts and beliefs and principles you have are not wrong. They're just different. And whenever we talk about culture, we talk about what are the fundamentals that must be yes that we have to agree on or we can't work together. And it should be a very short list, and each thing on the list should be in some way existential. Like, the life of our organization depends on this. J.R. Flatter [00:19:26]: Anything else, go go do it. Virtual workforce, dress codes, grooming standards, language. The language of Gen z is very different than than my language. Not right or wrong, just very different. And I suspect my grandparents thought that I talked very oddly in some way. So if it is existential and it is on that very short list, you better be communicating it, and you better be demonstrating it. I always tell the story about the CEO of Ford coming off the the stage, being told by someone as they were shaking their hand what a great speech it was. He said, you really sounded passionate about it. J.R. Flatter [00:20:12]: He said, yeah. I am. It's the core values of our corporation, and I've given it 5,000 times. That's communication. But then he has to walk off the stage after communicating and then go demonstrate it in his leadership. So if you're sitting at your desk looking at a stack of resumes or the I just aged myself, there are no stacks of resumes. It's all digital. Lucas Flatter [00:20:37]: Metaphorically. J.R. Flatter [00:20:38]: Metaphorically. And you're saying, nope. Nope. Nope. You better take a hard look at yourself, and you better figure out a way to say yes. Or at a minimum, you've probably heard the phrase hire for attitude and training to skill. You better have a way to bring them into your team. This is kind of off topic, but Forbes asked, how do you orient new members of your teams? And I wrote back and said that it's an executive function. J.R. Flatter [00:21:09]: It's not an HR function. You better have the leadership of your corporation involved in the orientation of your new team members. Otherwise, it's communication. You being there as part of the orientation is demonstration. Alright, my friend. Good seeing you. Well, that concludes this episode of building a coaching culture. I truly hope that this episode was helpful to you. J.R. Flatter [00:21:33]: If it was, be sure to follow us wherever you listen to podcasts. Maybe stop and give us a rating or a review and share this podcast with someone who might find it helpful as well. Thanks again, and we'll see you next time.