Intro to Coaching - Part 2

Building a Coaching Culture - #86: Intro to Coaching - Part 2 === J.R.: [00:00:00] I think another fundamental of coaching is I'll see you in the conversation about an introduction to coaching is how does it differ from [00:01:00] other methods of leadership, other ways of engaging as human beings? There's any number of comparisons one could make, but there's a couple of very common comparisons. And I put my professor hat on for just a second because this has been one of my recent Growth as a leader and as a coach and as a coach educator is how do you explain the differences between mentoring and coaching? And I, I'd love to hear your thoughts in a minute about this best way that I've found recently, and I'm sure. My thinking will continue to form and grow, is the difference between findings, conclusions and recommendations. And I know that sounds academic at first, but give me a minute to discuss. So, if you ever have the pleasure or displeasure of doing a rigorous piece of research and writing about [00:02:00] that research, you're going to have findings from your research, conclusions from your research, and recommendations based on those findings and conclusions. And so that's where I get this idea from. Who owns the findings, conclusions, and recommendations in the relationship when I'm talking about a mentor or a coach? And if I'm mentoring you, I own all three. I've discovered findings either through my experiences, my education, my age, perhaps, any number of ways. I could have discovered something, and therefore I draw conclusions from that finding that I now think are appropriate to you, and I make recommendations based on those findings and conclusions. So I put my arm around you and say, in 1981, I had a similar situation. This is what I found out [00:03:00] that worked for me. So I conclude today, in 2023, 2024, that it might be relevant to you, and therefore I'm recommending you follow that same path. So I own the findings, I own the conclusions, I own the recommendations. And it might very well be a time and place for me to own all three of those, and it might very well be a time and place to mentor. But when I'm a coach, when I'm in a coaching, wearing a coaching hat. I don't own any of those three. I want the leader that I'm coaching to own all three of them. I want to help them discover their findings that are right for them. I want to be the facilitator of their conclusions of what's right for them, significant others in their life, their organizations. And I want them to help discover their own recommendations. So for me lately, biggest differentiation is who owns those three things. And what's my [00:04:00] role as either the mentor or the coach in communicating those three things. What are your thoughts on the differences between coaching and mentoring? So yeah, Lucas: I guess just top level, um, you kind of think about it where a mentor might tell you what to do, prescribe a solution. So if you want to be an athlete, then here's your training plan, here's the things that you need to do, check the boxes, come back, we'll evaluate you, give you feedback, those kinds of things. But when we're in the coaching realm... You might be talking about how do I feel when I'm tired or how do I feel when I'm discouraged or those things that are particular to that individual that is particular to how they go about and move about the world and trying to kind of gain insight, I guess, you know, What you were talking about [00:05:00] with, um, the findings, conclusions, and recommendations, I think about, like, um, there's this philosophy where you say, I can describe the world, I can say what is, you know, I'm in a room, you know, it's cold outside, this and that, but I can't necessarily say, based on All of these things that are, this is what should be, this is what ought to be. So I could look at you and say, Oh, you need to do this, this, and this, but that might not fit you as an individual. So the gap there is, you know, where coaching comes in. You can't prescribe something to someone unless you know them like intimately. And, and so we don't even go into that realm really. It's about letting the individual lead you through that, so it's a big topic, I think, you know, it's, J.R.: you know, it comes up. Oh yeah, it's gigantic, and you're reminding me of a couple things, [00:06:00] and one of those is... Moore's law, forget the specificity that what I information technology capacity doubles every two years. What was Moore's law? It's like it Lucas: doubles every two J.R.: years. Yeah. Yeah. That's the, I think so. I mean, that's just dead, right? Computing capacity is off the charts compared to Moore's law. And now that we're starting down this path of artificial intelligence. You know, the relevance to mentoring and coaching and Moore's Law is that over the course of a lifetime, even as recently as 40 years ago, what I learned at your age was probably going to be pretty significantly relevant at my age. But now when I look at The speed of the world and the relevancy of what you know, versus how relevant it will be to Declan in 30 years. The [00:07:00] likelihood that it is, is significantly reduced. So let's go back 30 years and me telling you a story of when I was a kid. And, you know, how relevant was it even then, and then move forward 60 years and how relevant is it going to be to Declan and Declan's generation? All of that encompasses, for me, why coaching is the leadership style and the necessary culture of the 21st century. Because for you to assume, for me, let's just say, for me to assume, when I'm 90 That what I learned when I was 30 is still relevant to Declan, isn't going to be magnificently presumptuous. And so for me to say my findings, inclusions, and recommendations are the right findings, inclusions, and recommendations, puts the word hubristic, hubristic. And so I think the speed of technology and the pace of the world right now makes coaching [00:08:00] so relevant in many ways. That movie, The Lucas: Graduate, when, when, at the beginning, Dustin Hoffman, he's, um, getting congratulated and everyone's saying, you know, go into plastics, you gotta go into plastics. And like, the joke at the time was that, like, everybody's saying the same thing, but now you watch it and you're like, nobody's going into plastics, you know why? I J.R.: know. Yeah, if you would have asked General Electric. When that movie was being made about plastics, they were probably just getting into plastics. And now the, the cycle of that in just, gosh, when was that movie made 40 years ago has gone full circle, right? We're in composites now. So fundamentals of coaching back to, uh, introduction to the coaching. I wanted to talk for a minute about, and I think this goes back to something we were talking about. A moment ago anyway, and that is, you don't need anybody's permission to be a coach, to call yourself a [00:09:00] coach. But you should probably know some of the fundamentals, and that's what a good introductory course will do. It'll give you those fundamentals. And you'll get to practice them and you'll walk away with self efficacy. But one of the things that I've realized that is different in the 21st century from the 20th century is the acceptance of a minimally viable product in the marketplace. And so I tell people all the time I have the hardest job in the world and I have the easiest job in the world. I have the hardest job in the world because I'm an imperfect person and an imperfect leader and an imperfect coach. And I'm trying to teach all of those things, trying to practice all of those things. But I have the easiest job in the world because it's impossible to get 30 people in a room that have an open heart and an open mind and some drive and want to learn, and for them not to walk away with strong familiarity and the fundamentals in place. [00:10:00] As a minimally viable coach, ready to start practicing coaching in the world. And I'll talk in a minute about the differences between formal coaching and coaching as a style of leadership. But a good coaching program, a good introduction to coaching, should make you familiar with all of the fundamentals of coaching. So if you think about a knowledge continuum, for many people, five years ago, ten years ago, certainly, they didn't know what this thing called coaching was. Most people are aware now that there is this thing called coaching. We, in our fundamentals program, focus on familiarity and making all of our student coaches familiar with the fundamentals of coaching. And I'll give you a little analogy here in a minute that I hope will help with some of the fundamentals, like the competencies, the ethics, the core values, how to ask powerful coaching questions. What are the differences between coaching and [00:11:00] mentoring, mentoring and therapy, coaching and therapy? What are the requirements, the ethical requirements? In a good coaching program, you're going to become proficient with those. And as you exit the training and the education, the experiences of that program. You're going to be on a lifelong path to mastery. Long way of saying, you don't need to be a perfect human being. You don't need to be a perfect coach to create very positive change in people's lives, personally and professionally. You just simply need to be familiar with the fundamentals, proficient competencies and the differences. I'm willing and able to be on that lifelong path to mastery. I'll give you a quick analogy. Most people are aware of this game called cricket. I was just watching cricket over the weekend and it's like American baseball or American football. If [00:12:00] you're unfamiliar with it, it can be rather boring. Once you become familiar, it becomes fascinating. And if you're familiar with, with cricket. You know how it's played. You know what the positions are. You know what the tools are. There's a bowler, there's a bat. You know how to score. You know how they get out. If you're proficient, oh, and you also probably know it's played in the Commonwealth, mostly played former Commonwealth countries of the United Kingdom. If you're proficient in cricket, you probably play or have played. You have a favorite team. You follow the season. And if you're a master cricket player, you probably played cricket for a living, or you had, you played cricket for a living. And you certainly know who's in the cricket hall of fame and probably played cricket at the highest levels in the world. You do not need to be a master cricketeer to be a master coach. You need to be familiar on approaching proficiency. What are your [00:13:00] thoughts on this continuum of knowledge one might need to be a coach? I also Lucas: think about, um, what do most of us have, like, a master in, and so I think about, like, we all learned how to read when we were children, and we're pretty fairly proficient. Some of us are more, you know, into reading than others when they're adults, but... Most of us could pick up, you know, a Shakespeare or a classic book and figure it out eventually, even if it's a little like, uh, maybe it's not your thing, but you think about when you first started to learn how to read and you're reading these tiny Dr. Seuss books and then you move on to chapter books and then you move on to, you know, young adult books and then regular adult books. You're not going to give a child, you know, that same classic book, like Moby Dick, like you think about how overwhelmed they would be and just they, and you also wouldn't [00:14:00] tell a child, here's Moby Dick, and if you can't read it, then you should just quit reading, you know, you would encourage them, you know, this is the level you're at. So I think just recognizing that learning something, being I'm a novice at something. It will take, you know, it could take years to become a master. You're going to get better and better and better, but just recognize that it's a process, you know? J.R.: Yeah. You just coached me for the third time today. So I don't know what's going on with you today, but yeah, now when I think about this continuum of learning, I'm going to think about your reading analogy and you probably started saying At six or seven years or eight years old, I can read. And at some point in your life, you can say I'm well read. Depends on focus area and of what. But then also there are a few people in this world who are [00:15:00] no kidding scholars in some area. So they not only can read and not only are they well read in that topic area, but they are in fact a scholar. And that for me would be the master of that craft and the proficiency would be at I'm well read in these fundamentals. But you can start coaching when you start telling yourself, I can coach. So a coaching style of leadership versus formal coaching in a coaching culture. So a lot of people who start down this path to be. The coach have no real intent nor need to be in a formal coaching relationship. They coach more as a style of leadership and they are coaching in a coaching style of leadership to create. A 21st century coaching culture. It's the same skill set, same powerful life changing conversations that one can have personally and [00:16:00] professionally, whether it's a formal coaching relationship where you sign a coaching agreement and you say this number of sessions over this length of time, or as you're in your leadership role saying, do you mind if I put my coaching hat on and helping you grow your leadership? And that's how one develops a coaching culture. You and I could talk for a session alone on what is a culture and how do you change a culture and what is a strong culture? Not only what is it, but what is it makes it strong? What makes it relevant to the 21st century? How do you attract and retain the world's best talent in this 21st century that all goes back to culture and do you have a culture that will attract and retain that talent? But a coaching style of leadership is simply when you have a coaching culture and you're embodying a coaching style of leadership, people just say, that's how things are here. This is how we are. This is our story. This is how we [00:17:00] lead. This is how we grow. This is what's accepted. This is what's not accepted. This is what will make you successful per our construct, per our principles and core values. So I want to just take a minute to point out, as you think about becoming a coach and you're listening to this introduction to coaching, it isn't necessarily entirely about a formal coaching relationship. It's equally powerful as a style of leadership. And as a contributor to the culture of the organization that you work with, both personally and professionally. Any thoughts before we jump ahead on? Lucas: Just that, um, you know, we've been using the word team in corporate settings for, you know, forever. And I think that... You almost need a coaching culture to really be able to say, like, we're a team. Like we take people's opinions into account. People are [00:18:00] encouraged by their teammates and, you know, we all have a goal that we're striving J.R.: towards. Yeah. And another session that you and I teach that we could talk about for an entire podcast is the. The House of Leadership and the fact that it stands on a foundation of courage and part of that courage is, am I courageous enough to listen to someone who might be decades younger than I am, decades less experienced in this organization that we work together in, yet might be more culturally aware and more culturally relevant than I am. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to do that. Last couple things before we head it out. I wanted to talk about coaching conversations, developmental conversations for just a minute. In all of our coaching programs, we talk about different conversations that we strongly suggest you have in your development. In the first, In many ways, most significant [00:19:00] is journaling. Have a conversation with yourself about this journey that you're on. I've been journaling since 1981. I literally have the journal behind me in my bookshelf where I could pull out and tell you exactly what I was doing on the 4th of March In 1981, I could tell you exactly what I was doing and thinking the day you were born, the day you were married. So, not only do you have that historical significance for your own life and for whomever else might ever read that, but day to day as you're writing that journal, it's an opportunity to have a conversation with yourself about the journey that you're on, 15 to 20 minutes, just streams of consciousness. Don't worry about grammar and spelling and punctuation and is it going to show up on the front page of the newspaper? Give yourself that opportunity to have that conversation with yourself. And then secondly, significant others in your life who are on this journey with you. Make sure you're having conversations with [00:20:00] them. What are our principles? What is our vision? What's our work family self look like? What do we want to do with this life that we have together? Conversations with other leaders. There are tons of leaders out there. That you can learn from, not just about coaching, but from all manner of life and work. And the ask goes something like this. I'm on this coaching journey, and one of the recommendations of the program that I'm working with is that I have conversations with other leaders. And this week we're talking about courage and I've been watching you and I find you an especially courageous leader. Could you set aside some time to have a conversation with me? Anybody you ask is going to say yes to that question. And the rare few that'll say no, you didn't want to have a conversation about coaching and leadership with them anyway. And then a final conversation. That we strongly, strongly suggest is engage in a coaching [00:21:00] relationship while you're on your coaching journey. Not only do the competencies of coaching ask this of us to be collaborative, to be reflective, but it also, it's just a great idea. It's a great developmental tool that you can use. And then the final thing is a word that I recently read Benjamin Netanyahu's biography. Autobiography, and one of the quotes he has in there, and he doesn't quote it, attribute it to himself, and he doesn't, isn't sure where it came from exactly, but the quote is, even in the darkest place, the light of a single candle can create magnificent illumination. I think that's such a powerful, powerful statement, and so relevant to anyone thinking about starting a coaching journey. You can make a difference. You can change the path of your life, and you can change the path of other people's lives. You can change the path of organizations. And so with that, I'll pass it over to you for the [00:22:00] final thought. Yeah, I guess, um, Lucas: I like the focus on journaling. It's super important to gain any sort of perspective, is to be able to look back, what was I thinking back then? And you think about, um, Just like how you might change over time. We talked at the beginning about what you believe. You might find that out through reflection and through the mindfulness and that takes time. And I think journaling is a tool for that, J.R.: for sure. Yeah, absolutely. Powerful conversation. Thanks for being here. Definitely. Well that concludes this episode of building a coaching culture. I truly hope that this episode was helpful to you. If it was, be sure to follow us wherever you listen to podcasts. Maybe stop and give us a rating or review and share this podcast with someone who might find it helpful as well. Thanks again and we'll see you next time.[00:23:00]